So Cold
by TwilightWorshipper14
Summary: Leah and Sam were in love...until the day they were broken apart. Leah wasn't expecting it. Didn't suspect it. Didn't see it coming. Then it happens. Sam destroys her. He has someone else now. He has Emily. How could he have done this? -You caused my heart to bleed and/You still owe me a reason/'Cause I can't figure out why.../Why I'm alone and freezing/Song Fic-One-Shot


_I do not own Twilight, Leah, Sam, Emily or Leah's family._

 _Song: Nikisha Reyes-Pile ft. Ben Cocks - So Cold_

* * *

 _Oh, you can't hear me cry_

Leah stared at the lonely figure at the top of the hill.

Sam.

He looked so noble, so handsome with the moonlight shining down on him. His thick dark hair was twisted and tangled, his broad form radiating nervousness. Smiling to herself as her heart gave a little leap, the beautiful nineteen year old began walking. She had dressed up for the occasion. She was wearing his favorite dress on her. It is a beautiful red halter dress, the skirt flowing down and stopping right at her knees. The pleats swayed as she walked. Her hair was curled and loose and she felt excited.

 _See my dreams all die_

Sam had called her earlier and said he wanted to meet at 'their spot.'

They found it together weeks ago, wandering around aimlessly; just happy to be together. It has become their talk spot, their laughter spot, their make out spot, and more recently- their sex spot.

Blushing a little at the memory of losing her virginity to Sam, Leah sped up her pace. Sam twitched, turning around. She never knew how he did that. Ever since he had disappeared for weeks and then reappeared looking so different, Sam could always tell when she was around.

 _From where you're standing_  
 _On your own._

"Sam." Leah smiled breathlessly, seeing the shocked look in his deep brown eyes as they traveled over her form. "Your favorite dress." Leah laughed a little, feeling a little shy for some reason. Sam swallowed, nodding and turned away. "What's wrong?" Leah asked, walking forward and pressing a hand to his burning hot shoulder. Sam flinched, pulling away from each other. "Sam?" Leah said, panic creeping into her voice.

He was acting odd.

"Leah..." His deep voice was full of pain and apology. Leah froze. She...she didn't want the creeping suspicion to be true. Not him. Please, she loved him too much. Her heart burned and ached for him. Love for him filled every inch of her and Leah was suddenly stricken with fear.

 _It's so quiet here_  
 _And I feel so cold_

"Sam..." Leah swallowed, a steady burning growing at the back of her eyes.

"I'm so sorry." Sam choked out, turning to her. Leah's world went numb and she barely registered shaking her head frantically. "She...she was just there." Sam breathed and suddenly, there was this glow in his eyes. Leah whimpered, pain wracking her insides. He had never looked at her like that. He loved her, she knew that much but the moment she saw that awed and burning love, she knew it was over.

"W-who?" Leah choked out, small trembles running through her body. Sam's eyes cleared and he looked at her regretfully.

"Leah..." He began, stepping forward but she stumbled back, shaking her head and clasping a hand over her mouth. How could he have done this? Didn't- didn't he love her?

"Who?" Leah asked, stronger this time. Aching pain still echoed in her voice but it wasn't so strong anymore. There was this creeping sense of numbness washing over her.

"Emily." The name escaped his lips like a worshipful prayer and it destroyed her. In an instant, her heart burst...crumbled...ached...

...the one person she trusted...her sister...her cousin...this had to be some sort of cruel joke.

It couldn't be true.

But the look in his eyes...Leah turned and began walking away...and Sam let her. Leah numbly walked back to her car and climbed in, shutting the door. She sat there for a second, just staring at the cracked wheel. She wondered if she should cry. Why would she though? It wouldn't change anything.

He would still be gone.

Not hers.

Not anymore.

Leah started up the car as thunder rolled overhead. She drove slowly to her house and parked, the fat raindrops falling down and smacking the windows of her car. Leah slowly opened the car as her mom opened the door. Leah stumbled out and in front of her. She opened her mouth but then she saw her mothers face. There was a look of apology and sorrow. Just...like Sam.

 _This house no longer_  
 _Feels like home._

Her mother knew.

She knew about Sam and...Emily.

Turning, Leah didn't bother with her car this time. She just ran. Water spilled down her shoulders, soaking her but she didn't care. Leah felt her world crumpling down around her. She was...alone. Her mother knew and she didn't tell her. Sam told her but didn't care and Emily...Leah stared at the house. It was where Emily was with a friend. Leah slowly walked up the driveway and opened the door.

She was trembling, her heart broken and in pieces but she had to know.

Emily's giggles echoed through the house and Leah's face crumpled but she continued walking. This house...Leah had been in it several times through the years. Her and Emily had raced around this house as children. They had play tea-time. They had played princess. They had played house.

Leah stopped in front of the door and slowly pushed it open.

 _Oh, when you told me you'd leave_  
 _I felt like I couldn't breathe_

Sam was smiling brightly down at Emily, sprawled together in a chair. He was cradling her in his arms, a brilliant light in his eyes as he gazed at her. Emily was blushing, her beautiful cousin's face half covered in bandages. Leah remembered that. Emily had gotten attacked by a bear in the woods. She had cried, thinking no one would love her because of her ruined face. But from the way Sam was looking at her...

Leah hadn't realized she made that small cry until the happy couple looked up and horror dawned on their faces. Emily scrambled to get up and Leah stumbled back, her heart breaking again. How...how could this be happening to her? Sam got up and gently set Emily down.

"I-I'll go so you two can talk." Sam said and then left. Emily's eyes followed him to the window before he slipped out and was gone.

"Leah...I didn't mean for this to happen." Emily whispered but Leah shook her head and turned, running away.

 _My aching body fell to the floor_

She raced through the house and out the door, finding her way to the beach. Her feet sunk into the wet sand and Leah kicked her shoes off, collapsing down and pulling her knees close to her. She...couldn't cry.

So she let the wind and the rain storm for her.

 _Then I called you at home_  
 _You said that you weren't alone_

Leah went into radio silence for the next few weeks.

She stayed in her room and barely did anything. She didn't eat. She could barely sleep. She didn't take any calls. She ignored her mother. She ignored her father. She skipped school. She just didn't care. Leah was too numb to do or feel anything. She layed curled on her bed, her limp hair covering her eyes.

Leah struggled to her feet, stumbling to the bathroom. She swallowed some water from the tap and sunk down on the toilet seat. She didn't know what to do.

This numbness...it wouldn't go away.

Leah climbed to her feet and left the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She was headed for her bed again when her eyes landed on her phone. It was on vibrate and the screen lit up. She walked closer, feeling as though someone had swung a hammer into her lungs. It was Sam.

Leah hesitated but didn't pick it up.

She padded over to her bed and then whirled around, picking it up and dialing his number before she could second guess herself. She sucked in deep breaths, her hand shaking as she waited. Then...he answered.

"Hello?" His voice sent a painful wave of longing through her and Leah's breath caught in her throat. "Hello?" He repeated and Leah clenched her hands tighter around the phone, the plastic digging into her hands.

"Sam?" Her voice was hoarse and cracked, even though she hadn't been able to bring herself to cry.

"Leah?" Sam asked, surprised.

"Can we talk?" Leah whispered, a steady burn starting up in her eyes.

"I-I have company." Sam whispered back and Leah clenched her eyes shut, hearing the underlying words. Emily was there.

Leah hung up.

 _I should've known better_  
 _Now it hurts much more._

Leah struggled to get her life together.

Her parents were anxious and Seth, the poor kid didn't know what the hell was going on. No one would explain it to him. Leah couldn't bring herself to say what happened out loud. The pain was too fresh. But she still hadn't been able to cry. Maybe it was because- despite everything- she felt like everything was...unfinished.

Leah didn't know how to make anything better though.

She didn't want to be numb anymore.

So she became angry.

 _You caused my heart to bleed and_  
 _You still owe me a reason_

"What?" Leah snapped, her bristling anger reflected in her voice.

"Lee?" And her world froze. Her voice got caught in her throat and Leah couldn't say anything. Sam...why had he called her? Leah's heart throbbed painfully in her chest and she brought her hand up to press her palm to it.

"What?" She asked, but her voice was so much weaker than before. How could she summon up the anger at him?

"I...I just wanted to be the one to tell you...Emily and I are getting married." Leah's world narrowed down to that one sentence. Married. She slowly crumbled down to the floor. It had been about a month and a half. And they were already getting married. That should have been her.

Leah was shivering again.

 _'Cause I can't figure out why..._  
 _Why I'm alone and freezing_

"Did you tell her?" Leah could hear the faint sound of Emily on the other end. She didn't stop to wonder why, too focused on the pain rolling through her body.

"You and Emily are together right now. And you called me. Dick move." Leah snapped, her voice steadily growing stronger. Then she hung up.

Her hands were shaking and she finally broke.

 _While you're in the bed that she's in_  
 _And I'm just left alone to cry_

Screaming, Leah picked up a book and flung it across her room. Panting angrily, she grabbed a photo of her and Sam and slammed it on the corner of her desk. Then she flung it at the wall too. Picking up her desk chair, Leah slammed it across the room. Her window broke under the force of the chair and a rush of cold air flowed in.

Leah hardly noticed though, too busy flinging books and pictures and the small teddy bear he won for her across the room. Then she became aware of the deep, gasping sobs ripping their way out of her chest. Her heart was broken, shattered, crumbled. Leah cried, sobbing deeply as she feel to the floor.

She curled tight, deep gasps and sobs ripping out of her chest. Snot dripped out of her nose and she screwed up her face as the sobs wracked her body. How...why...this wasn't supposed to happen. Sadness and pain broke through and it was a dam bursting in her chest.

Leah couldn't hold back the tears and crying if she wanted to.

She sounded like a wounded animal that had lost its mate. Throwing her head back, Leah just let it all loose. She screamed at the ceiling, clawing at her hair and tightening her fists. The door burst open and her parents raced in with Seth hovering at the door. His eyes were wide with shock and fear and Leah just cried harder. Her whole body was drowning with rage and pain and loss. Her father stared and mother began to cry, pulling at Leah's arm.

Leah just cried harder, feeling her world crumpling down around her as yanked violently at her hair.

When would this pain ever end?

 _Oh, you can't hear me cry_  
 _See my dreams all die_

A week later, Leah stood on the beach, watching as Sam and Emily walked together. They were holding hands, laughing about something. Sam's handsomeness tore into Leah and new tears began leaking down her face. She couldn't recognize herself anymore. She was always so hard and angry and it tore Leah apart.

When Sam chose Emily, he tore everything away from Leah.

Her future.

Her love.

Her innocence.

Her brightness.

Her faith in the world.

Her sister-cousin.

Her eyes glazed over and Leah saw the future she could have had. Her and Sam would have gotten married and had two children. A little boy and a little girl. They would be perfect. Leah would be so, so very happy and Sam...he would never have met Emily. He would have been hers forever.

But now that dream is dead and Leah knows she will never get it back.

 _From where you're standing_  
 _On your own._

Sam spots Leah and starts towards her, leaving Emily behind him.

He stops a few paces away. He just stands and looks at her.

"How are you, Leah?" He asked softly. He does still care. Leah hardened her face, not bothering to wipe the accusing tears away. Sam flinched, shame clouding his gaze. He just doesn't care enough.

 _It's so quiet here_  
 _And I feel so cold_

It really is quiet on the beach.

Peaceful.

But as Sam stares at her, Leah feels ice creeping through her veins. She was once so full of light. So full of life. And now it has been stolen away. By this man right in front of her. She had given him everything. Her heart. Her virginity. Her life. Her soul. Everything. She held nothing back.

But it wasn't enough.

 _This house no longer_  
 _Feels like home._

Turning, Leah walked away and didn't look back.

He wasn't hers.

Not anymore.

Not ever again.

And the day she meets Bella Swan, she hates her. Because in her sad, broken and empty eyes...Leah sees herself. And she hates it.

She made a promise to herself.

She wouldn't be that weak ever again.

And she never once looked back.


End file.
